Katie took a seat in the reception area of her local education centre. The sofa gently supported her back and she slid back, yawning. When her turn came, she struggled to get up and the receptionist chewed on her pen while she made her way to the desk.

“How can I help?”

“I’ve gone back to full time education and I’d like to know if there are any grants available.”

“For this school year? I don’t think so, all the deadlines are passed.”

“Isn’t there anything? I really need help with my fees.”

“I’m afraid no.”

“Is there an advisor I could speak to about my options, please?”

“Yes, but he’ll tell you the same thing.” The receptionist checked her hair in a small mirror tucked underneath her computer screen.

Katie sighed. “My course is two years long so I’d like some advice for next year.”

“OK. Wait here.”

Katie managed to get an appointment for the same day and went back home to study for a few hours. At three o’clock, she returned to the building and another receptionist ushered her into a meeting room.

The advisor, Adrian, wore a Yves Saint Laurent shirt and a silk scarf and he looked quite out of place in that office.

“What can I do for you? I believe you’d like to talk to me about possible grants for next year?”

“Actually, for this year.”

“I see. How long is your course?”

“Ten months.”

“Not two years?”

“No.”

“I see. I’m afraid there isn’t much I can do, you should have come to see me before.”

“I’m not asking for a grant to cover all my fees, I already have a sponsorship which covers a big part.”

“A sponsorship?”

“Yes, from BOET.”

“What are you training for?”

“Pilot. I’m at Airdrive School.”

“Very impressive. Let me think.” He stared into the space in front of him, past Katie. “There is a grant for young adults finishing up their higher education a few years later. What did you do up to now?”

“I left school with nothing, did several jobs then I took a correspondence course last year for my GCSEs.”

“Interesting, interesting. I think you should fit the criteria for it. How old are you?” He picked a speck of dust from his shirt, straightened up and placed his fingers above his laptop keyboard.

“Twenty eight.”

“Twenty eight? Oh, that’s so bad, it’s only available for those under twenty seven. Did you turn twenty eight this month?”

“No.”

“I’m afraid I can’t put you through for this one.” He rested his hands on the desk.

“Is there any other?”

“On the top of my head, no, but I will look into it if you fill up this form.”

“Thanks. When will I hear from you?”

“We’ll arrange an appointment with you in a few weeks. I need to look at all the options first. Make sure you write all the relevant information, this will help me when I search the database.”

Katie thanked him and rushed back home to complete her assignment.

***

The following Sunday, Katie arrived for family lunch before noon and tiptoed behind her mother in the dining room. Linda gasped as Katie whispered ‘good morning’ into her ear.

“You’re early,” Linda said.

“I got up at seven.”

“At seven? Are you ill?”

Katie laughed. “No. I had to finish a paper before coming here.”

“Couldn’t you finish it tonight?”

“I’ve got another one to do then. I‘m so busy.” Katie pulled a chair towards her and sat down. “But it’s so cool. The other day-”

“Sorry to interrupt darling but I have to go check on the oven. I can smell burning.”

“I can’t.” Katie followed her mother to the kitchen. “The other day, we got our first one to one session with a pilot.”

“That’s great darling.”

“Mine was an ex-army and now he flies for BA. He told me about the chemistry with your co-pilot and tips to stay alert on long haul. It was very cool.”

Linda bent down to peer into the oven and flicked the light switch. “Great.”

“Yeah, it’s-”

“No, I mean, great, I’ve burnt the roast potatoes!”

“That’s OK, we can eat the other veggies. I’m sure there’ll be plenty, you always cook too much anyway.”

“Peter isn’t going to like it.”

“Then let him make his own. What else does he want, a butler?”

Linda laughed. “You’re right, he’s having it easy here.”

“Anyway, he told me I had the right attitude.”

“Who? Peter?”

“No, the pilot! Are you listening?”

“Of course I am darling, and I’m very proud and happy that you like it so much. It was the right decision for you on all counts.”

“Yes, well, except on the financial count. I’m still short of fifteen grand for fees, not to mention my food and travel costs. I’m really skint at the moment.”

“Have you heard from that chap at Lambeth?”

Katie rearranged the pans on the hobs so Linda could place the oven dish on an empty one. “Not yet. I don’t really think they’re going to give me any money to be honest. Seems like I’m either too old or too young for their adult learning schemes!”

“What do the other students do? Where did they get grants from?”

“Nowhere. Most of them only got a much smaller sponsorship and their parents are forking out the rest.”

“It’s a lot of money darling, you know we can’t really afford that.”

“I know.”

Linda tossed the burnt potatoes into the bin.

“Will you think about it though? I mean, half would be better than nothing for me.”

“Ok, we will.”

“Thanks.” Katie hugged her mother.

“I’ve not promised anything!”

“I know, I know.”

“Promised what?” Matt asked from the threshold of the kitchen.

“Nothing,” Katie said, as she turned to face her brother who had just entered the room.

“If it’s nothing, why are you blushing?”

“It’s personal.”

“Mum?” Matt held his mother’s hand.

“Her college fees.”

“What? You’re paying for her fees when you’ve never paid a penny for mine?”

“No, no. All I said is your stepfather and I will look into it.”

“It’s already bad enough you had to put down the first payment.”

“Don’t get upset. It’s different,” Linda said.

“How? How is it different? She’s not the only one studying. And some of us are also in full time employment.”

“I couldn’t work now, I’m way too busy with the course.”

“I’m not saying you should. But you have to admit it would be unfair for them to pay for you when I’ve had to pay for all my education myself, and I’m still paying for it.”

“You are right Matt, we won’t pay for her fees. It would be unfair,” Linda said.

Matt smiled and kissed his mother on the cheek. Katie walked past them and kicked the wall in the corridor.

***

Katie skipped Sunday lunch for three consecutive weeks. When she turned up for the last Sunday of November, her mother reprimanded her.

“I’ve been very busy with the course, that’s all.”

“Is there a problem?”

Katie buttered a slice of bread, “What?”

“Do you have a problem with Charlene? You never talk to her anymore.”

“I don’t really talk to anyone anymore. Every little spare time I get, I sleep or try to eat a decent meal.”

Katie perused at the newspapers left on top of the recycle bin and bit into her slice of bread. The butter melted upon contact with her mouth and smeared across her lips so she grabbed a kitchen towel and wiped it off.

“Because if you had a problem with her, you would tell me, wouldn’t you? She’s at work today.”

“Of course, but no, I like her. If anything though, I feel a bit sorry for her, to be settled so young. She could have so much more.”

“Not everybody is a free spirited lesbian, you know.”

“Ah, ah, very funny. But I feel sorry for her for being in love with Matt.”

“Don’t you two start that silliness again, I’ve had it up to here.” Linda drew her arm as far up as she could.

“What silliness?”

“She said this, he said that. You’re both grown ups now.”

“Well, go and tell Matt then. He’s… he’s… I can’t even explain it.” Katie swallowed the last of her slice of bread and rinsed her hands under the tap.

“Say it or shut it.”

“He’s a liar. He’s jealous of me.”

“Be careful what you’re saying.”

“He lied in his reference letter for the school, he told them I was still suffering from bouts of alcoholism.”

“He wouldn’t. All the good things he’s done for us since your father left. I know you two don’t always see eye to eye but you’re pushing it too far. Go get the men, the table is ready, and no more of that nonsense.”

“It’s true.”

“What did I say?”

Katie called Matt, Peter and Jim, and they greeted her with a ‘in a minute’ shout. She walked on the umbrella Matt had left drying in the hall. It collapsed into a weird shape and she shoot it out to the door, which it hit at letter box level before falling to the floor.

***

Later that day, Matt picked up his umbrella from the floor. It didn’t open properly.

“Mum! Do you know what happened to my umbrella? It‘s been squashed.”

“Maybe someone bumped into it, I always tell you not to leave it there.”

“Yes, you’re right. Katie must have done this when she got out.”

“Not on purpose.”

Matt forced the wires into different positions with little success. As he fumbled with it, it came inside out, revealing a footprint. “Of course.”

Linda joined him in the corridor. “Is there a problem between you two?”

“No, no. Of course not.”

“You’re happy for her, right?”

Matt pressed his palm against the base of the umbrella and pushed it up but it escaped from his hands and landed on the floor. “Right.”

“Don’t try to sound convincing, do you.”

“Yes, I’m happy for her. It’s great, she loves it.”

“Though it keeps her very busy.”

“That’s normal. Pilot training isn’t easy.”

“She’ll be alright, won’t she?”

Matt sighed and picked up his broken umbrella again. “Of course she will.”

“She’s safe now.”

“Safe?”

“I mean, from you know what.”

“The bottle?”

Linda swallowed hard. “Yes.”

“I should think so. I mean, if it goes wrong, you never know. But I trust her for keeping in a straight line.”

“I wonder if it will ever leave her. It’s weird when you think about it, she almost didn’t get in.”

“But she did, didn’t she?”

Matt excused himself and sought refuge in his bedroom. A pile of books for his training waited for him on his desk. The words from his teacher ‘passing should be a walk in the park for you’ resonated in his head. He retrieved one book from the pile and opened it.

After dinner, he offered to do the dishes so his mother could watch Eastenders. While rinsing the plates, a cough brought him out of his reverie. “You made me jump.”

“I was just checking if you wanted anything darling.”

“I’m fine Mum.”

Matt wiped the work surface and the kettle then washed his hands.

“I’ve been doing some thinking and one thing troubles me,” Linda said.

“What is it?”

“I’m scared Katie will cave in, she’s under so much pressure. You two used to talk, didn’t you?”

“She’s been busy lately.”

“Exactly. I want you to talk to her, to tell her how to balance life and studies. After all, you have more experience in this area than anyone else in this family.”

Matt straightened up and smiled. “I have. I’d be happy to give her tips.”

“I can’t get it out of my head. They spotted her, I’m scared they are trying to push her to her limit.” She let out a cry. “It would be so heart-breaking to see her fail.”

“She won’t. I don’t know if that helps but I don’t think the problem with the application was alcohol. It was my fault in fact, I forgot to fill in a part of the reference questionnaire so they disqualified my reference. I was in such a rush when I did it.”

“Did you? I’m so relieved to hear that. There was me worrying they knew about her history.”

“They don’t. Who would have told them?”

“Katie seems to think they do.”

“Unless she told them, they don’t. Now, let’s go watch the end of Eastenders.” Matt placed his arm on his mother’s back and directed her to the living room.

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