Matt left the house twenty minutes after Charlene had come back from her night shift and gone to bed. He didn’t have to attend work or training during the next sixty hours and he decided to head to The Dark Room, the pub where Katie had started a part time job. Of the twenty odd tables, customers occupied five, their newspapers spread in front of them. Matt sat at a stool at one end of the bar and waved at Katie as she carried a tray of empty glasses to the kitchen. The man on his left blew a big puff of smoke into his face and Matt coughed. Katie reappeared with a stack of ashtrays which she positioned at the centre of each table, except for the four in the “no smoking” corner at the back of the room near the toilets.

“I wasn’t expecting you here,” Katie said.

“I thought I would come and see your new workplace, see how it compares to a posh estate agent.”

“Ah ah, very funny. Not.”

“Come on, you know I’m only joking.” Matt threw a coasted at his sister.

“I know.”

Katie opened a bag of peanuts and placed it on the counter between them.

“So, what’s new? Mum said something about GCSEs.”

“Yes, I’m going to take five of them.”

“Five?” Matt munched on the snack and wiped his fingers on a napkin.

“I need five for the pilot school.”

“You’ve lost me.”

“I want to train as a pilot, like I wanted when I was a kid, remember?”

“It takes a little bit more than shouting down the stairs ‘I’m driving a plane’ you know.” Matt laughed and shoved more peanuts into his mouth.

“I’m serious about this. I’ve got my application pack, I’ve talked to them on the phone, I’m going to do it.”

“You do sound very serious about it indeed,” Matt said. “Well, I hope you can make it. I really do.”

“It’s a long term plan. I mean, I need to pass my GCSEs first.”

“You will be fine, I’ve always said you should have done much better at school.”

“Thanks. Did you tell mum about my stolen bag by the way? She seemed to already know when I told her.”

“I did tell Jim you had some financial problems. I didn’t mean to, it just happened. I’m so sorry, I should have told you straight away but I kind of forgot.”

“That explains it.”

“Forgive me?”

“Of course.” Katie gave her brother a big hug across the bar. “Do you think there’s any chance that mum will help me with the fees?”

Katie’s grasp tightened and Matt’s temples pulsed with pain. He kept still for a few seconds, controlling his breathing.

“I’ll talk to her, see if I can help.”

“Cheers, you’re my saviour.”

He smiled and kissed Katie on the forehead. They chatted for another hour as the few regulars didn’t demand much of Katie’s attention. She showed him the coursework for her first GCSE, English, and they debated whether modern slang and grammatically incorrect shortcuts proved ignorance, rebellion or laziness. In the end, they agreed that it depended on who committed them. When Katie finished her shift at eight, Matt took her to Peckham Multiplex and they selected Fever Pitch as they both fancied Drew Barrymore. After the film, they walked to the bus stop together.

“You know, we should hang out more, I’ve had such a nice day.”

“So have I,” Matt said. “It was nice to be off and see you properly.”

“I still can’t quite believe you and me are in the same boat now.”

“The same boat?”

“You know, training for a better job. Who’d have thought I’d catch up with you on that?”

Matt winced. His temples started to hurt again but he ignored his headache and carried on talking.

“Well, we’ll see after you’ve done your GCSEs.”

“What do you mean?”

“You should take it one step at a time, not put pressure on yourself.”

“A bit of pressure is good, otherwise I won’t get anything done.”

“Remember that day Dad got promoted and we all celebrated?”

Katie grinned. “Mum baked a chocolate cake.”

“Little did we know what was to come next. I’d hate stress to do the same to you.”

“Dad already had a problem with alcohol.”

“So do you.”

Katie turned her face away from him. “That was cruel.”

“I’m sorry if it hurts. I’m looking out for you here.”

“Are you?”

“Yes. All I care about is that you are healthy.”

“Healthy. Bored and poor.” Katie kicked the side of the bus shelter and mouthed ‘sorry’ when someone on the bench looked up.

“Health is everything. With health, you have hope. You know it.”

Matt hugged Katie goodbye. With his arms around her, her head resting on his shoulder, he protected her, he controlled her, she couldn’t catch up with him.

***

Katie opened the door and let her mother and stepfather in. She laid their coats on the arm of her sofa, offered them a cup of tea and grabbed a chair from her bedroom. They sat next to each other and scrutinised her from across the coffee table as she apologised and explained her reasons for hiding the truth about her financial situation. Jim patted Linda’s knee from time to time and Linda clutched her two hands together on her lap.

“Have you got any information about the GCSE courses you want to take?” Linda asked.

Katie pulled a folder out from the bookcase in the corner of the room and returned to her seat. Her mother opened it in front of her and examined its contents one sheet at a time, her face stern from the concentration, and then handed each of them out to Jim who read them carefully. Her meticulous inspection lasted ten minutes and Katie busied herself with filling up their mugs with more tea and wiping clean the diner table. They replaced all the paperwork in the folder as they had found it and murmured to each other. Katie went to her bedroom to allow them some privacy and she flicked through a magazine as she waited. Then, her mother called her. They showed no sign of affection as she walked in and her heart pounded in her chest.

“Have you started?” Linda asked.

“Yes. English.”

“I’ll give you the money for the next one if you pass this one.”

“I won’t know until August, you can only take GCSEs in June. I want to do all my courses before June and pass them all at once so I can apply for the pilot course for next September.”

“Let’s forget about the pilot school for a minute, we’re talking about your GCSEs. Can you work more hours in the pub?” Linda sniffed.

“I’ll try, but I will still be short.”

“Try your best. Whatever you can’t raise, I will pay for.”

“Will you? Thank you, thank you so much.“ Katie embraced her mother. “I’ve cooked beef bourguignon for you.”

“Beef bourguignon? I could have said no,” Linda said.

“As if,” Jim said, as he caressed his wife’s hand .

“I could have!” Linda paused for two or three seconds then laughed. “Damn it, I hate it when you are right.”

***

Katie arrived fifteen minutes early for her shift. Mikael, her manager, worked in the windowless room he had transformed into an office behind the kitchen. Following a two months stint in jail for tax fraud, Mikael had brushed up on his organisation skills and gave the utmost attention to his paperwork. Katie waited in silence while he made a neat pile out of the sheets spread in front of him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I would like to do some overtime or extra shifts if there is any available.”

“There aren’t any I’m afraid, Helena has taken them all.”

“All of them?”

“Yes, all of them.”

Katie left the office, stored her bag in the staff cupboard and washed her hands. The soap bubbles rose between her fingers and burst against her knuckles. One of the cooks walked past with a tray full of canapés for NPV Bank’s annual party and she glanced through the ajar door. Forty, maybe fifty, men in suits had gathered outside the pub. One of them perched himself on a bollard and gave a speech.

Katie joined Helena in the front room. Tables for two and four had been grouped together to allow sitting for six and eight and Helena had replaced all the candles with a plate of nachos and a tray of condiments. The men entered, headed by the one who had been addressing them outside. He introduced himself to Katie as Jeff Crouch and gave her an NPV Bank credit card to keep a tab behind the bar. In between serving pints of Stella, the clear favourite of the night, Katie approached Helena about her extra shifts.

“Yes, I’m trying to save three thousand pounds in two months. I want to buy my grandmother’s house. If I don’t, she will be kicked out.”

“Three thousand pounds? To buy?”

“For the deposit, yes. The whole house is twenty six thousands.”

“That’s cheap.”

“It is but it isn’t. I mean, my family could never afford it but it’s cheap on a London salary, yes.”

“I hope you can buy it. It’s very nice to help your grandmother.”

“She raised me until I was ten, I would do anything for her.” Helena wiped a tear off her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright. That’s sweet in fact, very-”

“Hey there! We want more chips!” Jeff Crouch, now drunk, yelled at Katie.

“Coming.” Katie kicked the bin underneath the bar. Twice.

Helena had already dashed to the kitchen when Katie recovered her cool. Helena walked with a slight limp, her right leg trailing always a touch behind. It gave a nice rhythm to her bottom, as if moving along to a very laid back, reggae, beat. A slap on Katie’s hand brought her back to the present matter, which was to serve and deal with Jeff.

“Tonight, I’m blowing off everything. Put it on the tab, put it on the tab.”

Katie filled up the pint glass in silence.

“You are very quiet. Are you new? Where are you from?”

“Yes. Brixton.”

“Where did you work before?” He grabbed a stool and sat down.

“In an office.” Katie turned her back to Jeff and added the drink to his tab on the till.

“I’m fed up with working in an office too. Number, we are just a number. I type in numbers. It’s not me. It’s not what Jeff Crouch does.”

“And what does Jeff Crouch do?”

“That’s a good question.” He looked at his colleagues. “They’re not listening.”

“So what does Jeff Crouch do?”

“He draws graphic novels. Not a number.” He slammed his fist on the bar.

“Really? How many have you done?”

“Three. All before I joined NPV fucking bullshit.”

“You seem unhappy, why don’t you quit?”

“I was stupid. Slept around a lot when I was twenty. That was before AIDS, yes. Or at least, when we thought AIDS was for the gays only. Anyway, I have three children. They are great. I can’t quit.”

“How old are they?”

Jeff reminisced about his children, his ex-wife, his children’s mothers, his children’s school results.

By nine, most of the party, including Jeff, had cleared and Katie and Helena settled at a table in the non-smoking area to eat their dinner as Mikael counted the money. Katie and Helena chatted about their families and their childhood, their teenage years and broken hearts. Katie came out to Helena, who blushed.

“I’m sorry I’ve embarrassed you. I didn’t want to lie,” Katie said.

“No, that’s good. That’s more than good. I’m… I’m… well, I think I’m gay too.”

“You think?”

“Yes. I know. It’s all new but it’s becoming obvious to me.”

Helena trembled and Katie steadied her hand with her own. “You know, everything is fine, as long as you are happy.”

“Oh yes, I’m happy. I mean, I’m not. There’s this girl. I shouldn’t say.”

“Come on. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“I fancy a friend of mine.”

Helena shared her sorrow with Katie, who provided the best advice she could. Mikael left at ten, as did the remaining of the party except for two men. Katie and Helena stood behind the bar, with one eye on the punters and the other on each other, and Katie led the conversation towards past romances and exes.

“Your first was married? Naughty girl,” Katie said.

“I know. I wouldn’t do it now but back then, I thought that was the only way. I had never met a lesbian couple.”

“Is it hard being gay in Slovakia?”

“It was when I lived there. I’ve heard that things are changing for the better.” Helena stretched to grab a pack of peanuts and brushed Katie’s arm with her hand. “Enough about me anyway. What about you? When did you come out? When did you know?”

Katie told her about Leah, her first. How she had shed one stone standing by the phone waiting for a call that didn’t arrive, how she had lost her best friend and fought with her mother over her. She spared Helena no detail, though she omitted to mention the root of the argument came from her then growing alcohol problem.

“And now, are you seeing anyone?”

“No. I’ve been dating a little recently but nothing serious.”

“That’s a shame.” Helena slid her hand over Katie’s forearm, her thumb stroking the tender skin on the inside. Katie stirred and their fingers locked into each others in a caress.

“It’s kind of good timing, isn’t it?” Katie said.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Well, I fancy my friend, I told you.”

“That’s fine. I don’t expect you to fall head over heel for me.” Katie pressed her palm against Helena’s.

“You should.”

“I’m practical.”

“We work together.”

“OK, I’m not that practical. One date, let’s go out on one date. We might have fun.”

“We might.” Helena stood up, grabbed a clean clothe from the pile underneath the sink and wiped one table. Katie imitated her and they worked their way around the room in silence and in sync. The two NPV Bank men left and Katie bolted one half of the front door. Helena and Katie carried out their locking up duties at a fast pace and Katie brought the two big liner bags outside, shivering in the cold. Helena called her back in.

“Don’t stand out there, it’s freezing! You silly girl.”

“I’m not silly.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“You are. That’s why I like you.” Helena circled Katie with her arms.

“The date is on?”

“The date was tonight. Now, give me my end of date kiss.”

Katie bent forward and delivered a small peck on Helena’s right cheek. Helena shifted slightly and their lips met. Katie moved forwards and their lips parted. Katie couldn’t breathe as Helena shoved her tongue down her throat. With her own, she pushed it up and down but couldn’t find the groove she wanted the kiss to have so she gave up and let Helena finish the kiss.

“I have to go now, my last train is in five minutes,” Helena said.

“Sure, run.”

Katie bolted up the second half of the door behind Helena and waved at her as Helena ran down Blenheim Grove.

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